DON'T JUDGE!

Within a glance, a person can make a very accurate judgment on a subject that he has been familiar with. The person himself sometimes can not explain on what basis he can make such an accurate judgment. He simply trusts his instinct interconnecting all related experiences from his conscious and unconscious mind.

People who have been exposed long enough to a subject can be very fast in giving accurate judgment to that subject. The longer the exposure to the subjet will be the more accurate the judgment he makes upon that subject. A long exposure is like a constant practice in improving your skill. Like people say, practice makes perfect.

An artist knows whether a piece of art is exclusive or cheap.
A pro saxophonist can directly tell whether someone is excellent or poor in playing the instrument.
A curator recognizes whether a collection is a fake or a real one.

In our daily life situation very often we make an instant judgment on something or someone, however eventually we realize that we misjudge them. The chance to make wrong judgment is higher when we are not familiar with the thing, person, task, or situation we are dealing with.

Often our judgment is also distorted by the benchmark, general idea, principal, common misbelief that have been implanted in our head. The combination of too easy judging thing and the distorted mind exacerbates the situation into an autistic state resulting in a very poor judgment eventually. This brings disadvantage not only to the one who is being judged, but also to the person who judges.

To be fair and aware off, do not judge things, persons, tasks, or situations if you don't need to. Make professional judgment if only people ask for it as they might think that you are the expert. It is important to keep your mind opened, not to rush and take a little pause to allow your mind refreshed, then you can make a much better and fair judgment.

Reference:
Blink (Malcolm Gladwell)

Eye to Eye

This essay was written after I finished reading my two books, Power vs. Force and Zero Limits. The two books have interesting explanation about eye contact. Here I try to present what I understand from the books.

In the recent modern science, behavioral kinesiology is getting more and more popular and well investigated. One aspect in the study of behavioral kinesiology is to examine the strength and sensitive response of our muscle towards any object. Different qualities of similar object cause different responses to our muscle. This study reveals that muscle response and strength can be measured accurately*.

*) For example: An experiment was conducted where a group of examinees were given two sealed envelopes; one was enclosed with vitamin C and another with artificial sweetener. All examinees were not told what inside each envelope was. During the test, all examines gave exactly the same response. They showed positive response when holding the envelope with vitamin C, whereas the envelope with sweetener caused weaker muscle strength to them.

In Power vs. Force, Hawkins applied behavioral kinesiology technique to calibrate the state of human awareness to muscle strength. He found that level 200 (calibrated between 0-1000 in logarithmic scale) is the critical point for awareness shifting. At level 200 or above is obtained when people experience happiness, excitement, joy, peace, and universal love. Apparently, the highest state of human awareness which is calibrated at level 1000 is the universal love (Jesus, Lord Buddha, Muhammad, Krishna were the ones who had attained level 1000). Below 200 people emits weak energy aura. This is where humans experience all the negative state such as angry, sad, discontented, and desperate. Unfortunately, people nowadays are mostly under this critical limit!

In Zero Limits, there is a particular passage that really draws my attention: eye contact. What I found is that the ability to maintain eye contact is strongly related to the state of human awareness. It is showed in a behavioral experiment where a group of participants must stand up face to face toward their own partners who are completely strangers, and see right through their partner’s eyes for certain period. Apparently, not all participants were able to maintain eye contact within the defined period. The instructor said that the ones who are filled with love won’t get any problem with eye contact to a total stranger. People who are not in peace, not having pure heart, lack of love, having prejudice and all sort of negative thinking (below level 200), will not stand to maintain eye contact even for short time.

The ones who failed to maintain eye contact were asked to release their negative energy using ho’oponopono technique by saying I love you repetitively, emitting universal love towards all beings including their stranger counterpart. Some even dropped tears unconsciously during the progress as they felt embarrassed or guilty for having negativity that contaminated them selves as pure beings. The ho’oponopono was successful. Eventually they were able to hold eye contact with their counterpart. This indicates that our eyes can’t hide what inside our mind is. Eyes can't lie. That's why we have to release our negative energy and fill ourself with love. Wise men say, the purpose of life for every being is to love and to be loved.

Additional comment:
In Western culture, when you are talking, you have to maintain eye contact. You can tell that a person is lying or telling the truth from his/her eyes. Yet, it is a different situation in Asian culture where looking at someone straight in their eyes can be considered rude or impolite.

As someone who was raised in Asian culture, I have to adapt and get myself used to with maintaining eye contact when speaking to someone. This is an important cross cultural learning especially for Asian students who study in Western countries. The Westerners often misunderstand them because they don’t maintain eye contact when they speak. Luckily, now I am used to with it. It does help me to see whether some one tells a lie or truth. Eyes speak, and never lie.

References:
Power vs. Force (David R. Hawkins)
Zero Limits (Joe Vitale & Ihaleakala Hew Len)
Pictures from http://kingtay.blogsome.com/

Mindset: How Can I Do More?

"Can I do that?" That sounds doubting our own capability; "How can I do better?" This is a more positive attitude.
I believe that in any life situation, we surely can do things to improve our lives. However, some people complain that most often they always run out of time to do their daily tasks, hence no more time to do other things that might enhance their life quality. In the end, they always say that their life situation is not as ideal as what they expect.

It’s very common to hear statement like “I wish I have more time to do that”, “I wish I could do more to get additional income”, “I wish I can cram that activity into my schedule”, etc. As a matter of fact, sure we can manage everything in a defined period. There is no time limitation as an excuse. Any life situation is certainly manageable. It’s all about whether or not a person knows how to manage it and really wants to do so.

The best way to manage our life is to get rid any inefficiency in our daily routine. Indeed, everyone has capability to live their life efficiently. Unfortunately, people tend to underestimate their own capacity to overcome such condition. I believe it is simply just a mindset problem. They accuse that their daily routine has killed most of their time.

A typical common example of a life situation is when your boss assigns you for a new task. The first reaction could be excited, nervous, doubtful, not confident, or mix between them. That’s still normal response. Yet, some people might feel stress or under pressure as they take it as more burdens to bear.

But lets we take a look at it through rose-tinted glasses. Would that be a big chance to get more precious experience? The boss might have considered several candidates, but then you’re the one who has been chosen and entrusted to perform the task.

In some case people are urged by their life situation to do more additional works to support their life. They still can manage it eventually. The key to success in managing more works is simply doing better time management, thus allocating time more efficiently within our daily routine.

Another point to bear in mind is to keep positive mindset: We can do anything as long as we put extra effort physically and mentally. Never ever give up! That is the moral value.

“How much we can do depends on how much we think we can do” (Schwartz, 1979: The Magic of Thinking Big)

Aris, our friend, can’t move his left hand after having an accident. Yet, he does not give up doing his normal activity even with one hand paralyzed. Playing pool is one of his hobby. He develops a technique to strike the ball with one hand. Now, he plays as great as other two-handed pro pool players. He enjoys his hobby till now. I really admire his inspiring spirit!!!

The Greatest Blessing

It was typical for me not to tell my family, close friends, or anyone about my big project before I reach my final goal. Good though, to some extent! Despite the high pressure I had when dealing with the task, I learn to be strong to stand up on my own feet, and not to depend on other people, an absolute single fighter very often!

The moment I announce that I have achieved my ultimate goal, that would the most euphoric climax for me. I love to surprise my family and my close friends. I really enjoy that moment with all joy and excitement!

However, it's not easy to accomplish every single task. It requires big effort and wouldn’t be as easy as snapping finger. Perhaps I just realized that every task I do will run more smoothly when I ask my mum for her blessing. I believe that mother’s blessing to her children is absolutely powerful in any situation. So every time I have chance to tell my mum about my tasks, I’ll ask for her special blessing.

Hoarding

Here is another thing happened at home. Mum always collects plastic bags, meal boxes, and unused paper wrap. Then she just stacks them around the kitchen and our TV room.

This situation seems so similar to the one in other Chinese families' house. Not to deny, I've also been noticing those mums' habit in many Chinese families. Since they don't want to lose benefit for the things they got for free (sounds so Chinese huh?), so they keep plastic bags, nice cake boxes, nice paper wrap; stack them in the corner of their living room, in their kitchen shelves, here, there, everywhere... Yet, they don't even need those things soon, not even for the next 1 year!

I know that my mum's point of view is more into keeping those things, so whenever she needs it, she doesn't need to buy the new one. It is good though, to some extent, saving more money, less buying plastic and paper stuff, and perhaps discouraging people to sell those hard-to-decompose materials in nature.

But when this habit tends to become compulsive hoarding, hmm...that can be very annoying anyone who's living under the same roof! The house would be very uncomfortable to live in. Moreover, the environment can be so unhealthy due to too much stacks, providing media for germs and other insects to grow. (Lucky, my mum is not so compulsive, yet she needs to be alerted).

Whenever I went back home, normally I was the one who cleared out the stacks, dumping those old plastic bags and moldy boxes. Yet, my mum still halfheartedly let me do it. So, I usually clear them out when she’s not there...

I am just worried that her behaviour might indicate that she has a tendency to be an obsessive hoarder. However, after I clear them out, she just loves to see the clean and neat room... But not for long, she’ll start again and again collecting and stacking plastic bags, boxes, paper wrap, old magazines, stuff 1, stuff 2, stuff 3...stuff 13... Well, I guess I’ll always have my cleaning activities on my holiday back home.

Transactional Analysis: I'm OK You're OK

(a book by Thomas A. Harris)
"I am a person. You are a person. Without you I am not a person, for only through you is language made possible and only through language is thought made possible, and only through thought is humanness made possible. You have made me important, Therefore, I am important and you are important. If I devalue you, I devalue myself." (Harris, 1969: page 223)

Mental Attitude: Whether or Not Environment Affects?

This experience happened in Surabaya airport. I was just walking around on the waiting hall. But then, something was catching my eyes. A guy smoked in the non-smoking hall while having chitchat with his friends. It's was very clear that the sign of "No Smoking" was just above his head.

a situation @ Surabaya airport (29/4/08)

I was so disappointed and mad seeing such thing. Can't he read the No-Smoking sign? Or he just selfishly felt that, "I do whatever I wanna do", as there was no security officers around (the smoking guy was in the far end of the waiting hall. Well, maybe security officers in Surabaya airport were too lazy to patrol up to that corner end, and if they did, maybe they were too "reluctant" to warn the smoking guy there!)

You won't see any regular patrol by security officers along the hall, at least not as much as the one in Hong Kong, Singapore, Australia, China, and any other place. It seems that Surabaya airport does not need such patrol, as everything is just always under control...hmm!)

That just made me wondering, how we can change the attitude of such people to be more discipline. Not to mention the discipline of time (arghh..."Indonesian Time!" We do have that phrase, and I'm certainly NOT proud of it).

It is very difficult indeed. People with such moral, eventhough they are moved to a better environment, an environment with high environmental awareness people and strict regulation, they will just be the same individuals with such attitude. It is not easy to change their behaviour to follow the system eventhough they have been inside the system. Once they get 'chance' to do the same thing like what they comfortably used to do, they will intentionally or unintentionally do it over and over...littering, spitting, and smoking not in the proper place!

...yeah, yeah...that takes time...takes time for such changing to adjust with the better system...but for how long?
And yes, I have seen my own Indonesian colleagues (not only one colleague) who did that when we’re studying in Australia. And I felt sorry about that! I did tell them though, and they just smiled, and I didn't know whether they smiled because they were ashamed or because they were too bothered with my words.

Having said that the effect of the environment is less influential than the root of the moral of each individual, it doesn’t always seem to be true for every case. I remember my experience in front of the lobby of Sheraton Hotel Surabaya (18/4/08). A caucasian person with a local chick were entering a taxi. His cigarette was just recently lit. The cab was full AC, so he had to turn it off. But what happened?

He entered the cab while sucking deep his cigarette, opened the window and dumped his cigarette in front of the Sheraton staff. I was really sick off his attitude. I assumed that this "bule" (an Indonesian word to refer white people) had lived in Surabaya quite a while. At least he had experience seeing locals littering not in the proper place. But, why a bule must downgrade his moral to do such thing, particularly in an exclusive place like in the gate of Sheraton Hotel. Want to show off his power? That he is an expat? That he comes from developed country? That he is a dollar/euro holder so he can afford to stay in 5 stars hotel? or to look down Indonesian people knowing that in Indonesia, we don't have such a heavy fine due to littering like in the Singapore strict regulation???

As the taxi moved away from us, the valet parking staff picked up the cigarette and dumped it to the closest rubbish bin.

If only I were a Harry Potter (or a least I had my own wand), I would put him under my spell to stick the dumped cigarette back into his mouth for 24 hrs, so he can not talk and kiss that bitch!!!%#~*)$#%@#*

***
This indicates that environment can change people's attitude, moral, and behaviour too! How significant it affects people's attitude and moral? I guess, it depends on the characteristic of individuals. Therefore, keep your mind open!

Beggar in Indonesia, a profession?

…some of them seem to have been enjoying that living as a beggar is a kind of an "easy-money-making profession"...

What I had experienced recently really reminds me on what my friend had told me about beggars’ life in Indonesia...

Thanks to Arief “Ripe” Rahmawan for sharing his finding on the social study about street boys and beggars in Bogor, West Java.

It was about 9 a.m. I was in a small warung (small shop that sells daily needs) in Tuban waiting for the bus to Semarang. Sitting in the corner of the warung, was an old lady wearing dirty clothes. The first bus from Surabaya just arrived and stopped by a restaurant, next to the warung, for the passengers’ meals. The old lady quickly took a position, sitting on the ground near to the restaurant entrance, begging for money to anyone passing in front of her.

From the warung owner, I got information about this lady. She said that this lady lives quite far from the restaurant, definitely not a walking distance for an old lady. She has to spend about Rp. 3000.00 (US$ 0.3) for the transportation fee to get into this place (in front of the warung) every day just before 9 a.m.

Before going home, the old lady always sits in front of her warung to count the amount of money she has collected. That’s why the warung owner knows that she can get at least Rp. 75.000.00 to 80.000.00 per day. Sometimes she could earn up to Rp. 150.000.00 per day.

Big amount of money!!! said the warung owner with heavy tone to me. I can understand her tonal expression of dissatisfaction. The warung owner who’s also an old granny said that even running a warung selling sugar, rice, soap, and other stuff, she rarely can reach such amount of net margin within a day compared to the beggar who does nothing except sitting and waiting patiently begging people for money!!!

Surprising!? Let’s play a simple math, say the beggar earns Rp. 50.000.00 per day. That equals to Rp. 1.500.000.00 per month, an amount which is even more than the standard salary of fresh bachelor graduate in most places in Indonesia!!!

While waiting all passengers going back to the bus, I saw the first young guy gave the old begging lady Rp. 3000.00. Well, that’s already enough to cover her transportation fee. And that’s just from one person, from the 1st bus. The bus comes every 1.5 hour in average from 9 a.m. till 2 a.m. next morning. So, I guess, she can go back home anytime she wants from her “work place”. A home with 4 bedrooms and a proper family bathroom, described by the warung owner as she had visited her before. Doesn’t sound like a beggar’s property, huh?

This is only one example of a beggar’s life in Indonesia. Well, I’m sure that most of them are struggling to live their life and have no other choice to desperately become a beggar because of the situation that makes them to. However, some of them seem to have been enjoying that living as a beggar is a kind of an “easy-money-making profession” which requires an “art” behind that.

The art of acting! Yes, they have to act with a sorrowful expression when begging people. Bandage the healthy legs and pour some yellowy fermented liquid on it so then lots of flies attached in, try to make an impression of a guy with terrible illness that he can’t afford to cure it, hence expecting people’s sympathy and of course, charity! (Rahmawan, 2001)

Very often they exploit little kiddies, let them beg under the traffic light. The middle-aged women rent or borrow the baby of their group, intentionally let the baby cry loudly, and then they beg for money asking donation to buy milk and food for their “poor baby”. This art of begging can be performed in any public place, along the road, city corner, pavement, in front of shopping malls, under traffic lights, and other busy places.

Talking about exploitation, they even exploit themselves. I know that most beggars are handicapped, blind, or having other physical disabilities. However, they tend to dramatize their disabilities to draw people’s sympathy. I don’t know whether such thing can be considered as a self exploitation, or should I consider it, again, as the art of begging. One real example I’ve experienced was with a guy who has eyes disability, thus wearing black glasses, begging for money on the train. A donation box he brought was in his left hand and a stick for guiding him was in another hand; passing slowly behind a standing woman. He intentionally almost-dropped his body towards the woman, pretending that he hadn’t enough strength like other “non-disability” people had to restrain the train shaking. It looked really awkward to see his exaggerated action just to respond the constant train shaking. The woman just helped to stabilize him. I really noticed that he deliberately did that. I knew that! I had been noticing his behaviour, since he entered our compartment.

My friend who did a social study about street boys and beggars has visited their home. What he found was quite surprising him: a set of VCD player and TV in a comfortable living room, cell-phone...totally beyond his expectation!

Once, my friend saw a guy with a nasty appearance begging in a train station. Another occasion, he noticed the same guy, but with a proper shirt talking on his cell-phone in another train station!

From all points above, it seems that being a beggar in Indonesia appears to be the last easiest solution to make money. Lots of people from remote area, who are stimulated with the glamour of metropolitan life, come to the big city expecting to get a good job, good money, without well preparation or without being equipped with any skill to get a job. Eventually, they desperately start begging people. Very soon, they will discover the art of begging to earn enough money; just like the old lady I saw next to the restaurant. So, the art of begging = technique to make money? The higher the art of begging they can master, to more money they can collect, I suppose.

But, would that be a good future for a developing country like Indonesia? Would this lead to an effortless Indonesian generation that do thing without careful thinking or preparation? Or can “beggar” be considered as a title of a profession? What and where’s the best way to donate our money then? How can we trust that the institution doesn’t corrupt our donation?

Hmmm. Another never-ending chaotic social problem in Indonesia to discuss. May everyone be well and happy. –S–

Tourism impact in Bali: Local vs. international visitors

Bali is such an exotic paradise to the eyes of the world. Lots of visitors from Australia, America, Europe, Japan, Taiwan, and many other countries, come to Bali for their holiday, honeymoon, business, or even for the international class conference.

As majority of Balinese people earns for living in tourism sector, I notice that there’s an interesting phenomenon in the behaviour among locals especially the ones who are mainly involved in tourism industries. For those who work in a highly competitive touristy place, they tend to prioritize their service to tourists who can pay more to them. So, they always tend to be “nicer” to tourists who hold yen or dollar in their hands. Local visitors seem to be the second class guests that deserve secondary services.

My friend who’s a Singaporean told me that when she was in Bali, her friend and she had queued for a table for a half hour in a very popular restaurant in Seminyak. But the staff let the other caucasian guests to come in without having to queue first. She could not understand why the queuing system was so crap, or was it because that she looks like a local, thus she didn’t deserved to be prioritized for the table. Well, from what she told me, I myself was not really sure, either the staff was a bit picky for the dollar holder guests, or could be that those groups might have booked the table before they came.

Another “interesting” thing that you might find out is the price deviation within a place for dinning. In a certain touristy area, a restaurant might provide different price lists for the same menu. They have an image that Japanese guests generally have more financial ability to spend their money for food. Thus, menus written in Japanese usually follow the standard of yen price, which appears to be the most expensive one compared to menu price written in other currencies. But yes, you’ll be surprised that they do have menu written in different languages with prices that have been “adapted”.Well, certainly it’s more beneficial for the local as they get cheaper prices, but, of course with the standard “local” service which is totally different from the “international” one in term of their hospitality.

Well, what I’ve exposed here doesn’t intend to discredit the popular image of the great hospitality of local Balinese. As a matter of fact, Balinese people naturally are very friendly. This you still can see in the remote area in Bali where local villagers are really willing to talk and curious to make friend with you, no matter you are dollar holders, caucasians, locals, or whatever your performance and background are.

Again, what I’m trying to point out here is not about a racial issue, but simply showing the impact of tourism among locals, especially the doers of tourism industries which seems to have a behavioral alteration of their attitude. Interesting phenomenon, isn’t it!

Good Friends

I wish that my life could always be surrounded with my best friends. Well, this is just my ideal thought. Yet, I still realize that there’s nothing perfectly ideal as what I expect in this real world.

I’ve been thinking about this since the past couple weeks of my stay in Tuban. At least, what it’s in my mind may explain why dealing with people in the working place seems to be tougher than at school.

It’s simply because at school, I just interacted with someone whom I’d considered to be good to be my friend, and the rest, I wasn’t really bothered. But in the working place, I have no choice to interact with every staff within a shared space, eventhough I don’t like the person.

The funny thing is that my first impression about someone is used to be wrong. I thought…hmm… this person can not be my friend, but in the end we’re such a close friend. Or the other way round, in the beginning we were too pushy to became a good friend, but then after all, we just became “hi and passing by” friend.

No one to blame; it just goes with time and natural selection

A and B are two individuals who just come into a new place. They haven’t had friends yet. Then A and B start to get to know each other, often have chitchat, then decide to do something together. After sometimes, they know that they don’t have similar preferences. Then as time goes by, each of them has their new friends; eventually A hangs out more with A’s new friends, B also enjoys more to be with B’s new friends. Sometimes, if by chance A meets B, then they just say hi, talk only one or two sentences, then… ok, see you, I gtg now. They don’t seem to be bothered with that changing, both of them realize on that, and they are just ok, as they know that this situation is better for both of them...

Friendship, relationship: Does it work?

When establishing a new friendship or relationship with someone, it may work but also may not. If it doesn’t work or becomes worse, do not too emotionally respond it! Once you have introspected yourself and believed that you have done nothing wrong, then NO need to try to be nice or to clarify anything. Don’t get too far on him/her. Maybe s/he is the one who has problem, for example an overly sensitive type of person. And to this kind of person, you really must keep distance!

In the worse situation, if s/he says something cynical to you, don’t take the bait; just don’t give a damn on what s/he has said.
Indeed it’s a good practice to develop compassion and patience. Any single cynical word you’ve heard, let’s hope it will bring satisfaction and happiness to the person who delivers those words. Then you’ll be able to smile freely and feel much better, meaning that your practice of compassion is successful.

Tuban, after a week of training

Working in a place together with Singaporean expatriates gave me some unusual experience, particularly to deal with their weird characteristic. No need to feel inferior. Take it easy, this is just the beginning of the real world. There will still be a dozen more characteristics of people that you’ll never expect out there. Just be cool, calm, and confident! Do smile if you don’t want to say something stupid that may worsen the situation; at this situation: Silence is Golden

Remember, stay low profile!!!
***
The most difficult thing to learn in my working place:
Is not to learn the chemical reaction on hydrocarbon
Is not about making a monthly plan based on estimated material balance to maximize the gross margin
Not either is to understand the whole units applied to process crude oil into highly valuable xylene
But,…
It is how to deal with people with different characteristics, especially the weird one!!!
So, find out what the key is to deal with this!

A Little Girl on the Bus in China

The bus has been clumped! There was only one seat near the spot where I was standing up, a woman with some stuff on her hand was going to take that seat. Suddenly, a little girl snatched the seat, then abruptly called her mother, "Mum, here, I got a seat here".

The woman just gave it up, and the little girl's mum was struggling to go through the clumped people, until she reached the place "booked" by the girl and sat down there with the girl on her lap.

***

So, why did I feel a bit weird about this situation? She is just a little girl though, who wants to present her mum a place to seat, ... but by snatching a seat from a woman with a lots of thing on her hands??? Is this nice little girl wrong?

Well...well..., this is another chaotic situation in China, I must say, I hate this condition. It makes me think, it must be very difficult to all Chinese, especially to young generation, to realise the motto of Olympic 2008, "Jiang Wen Ming", to make China to be a better "civilized" country.

Salute to all young generation whom I saw giving their seats to the elderlies, to the pregnant woman, to the woman with her baby!!! To all parents in China, do teach your children to be more civilized then!!!

A Hope

On the small bus, sitting in the front of 2 high school girls. Then, giving their seats to two elderlies. A very "unique" event here in Dalian. Good sign for the present Chinese young generation. Very impressing me!

GEO-ASTROPHYSICS: The Moon Effect

How often have you experienced an excessively unstable or uncontrolled emotion?

Geo-astrophysics, a multi-discipline combining earth science, astrology, and physics, may explain well this phenomena among living creatures on earth.

All creatures are significantly affected by the gravity of the moon. The moon is the closest gravity-exhibiting material to our earth. Hence, the moon's gravity affects most life on earth. This has been shown in some scientific research. How do coral reefs have a synchronous spawning in a certain lunar period? Why do mollusks, crabs, shrimps exhibit a peaking pattern on their abundance during the full moon period? And what about the howling behavior among wolves during full moon? ...

The body of living creatures contains a large amount of ion Fe (iron). The moon's gravity induces all ion Fe moving to the upper part of the body as it is pulled by the moon's gravitational magnetic field, for example: for human beings, ion Fe will be concentrated more around the head. This condition has been believed to be the main factor that affects emotional state among human beings.

Within our daily life, try to notice the date when you feel moody, sensitive, or any kind of such dramatic emotion; Is it near full moon or new moon? I myself noticed that some people in my surrounding exhibit such emotion mostly around these two lunar periods. The moon effect amplifies our emotional state, thus sometime we might emotionally unstable under high moon gravitational effect (see also my essay on Unexplained Uncomfortable Feeling). For example, someone who feels sad will be in deep sadness, also contrarily, someone who feels happy will be extremely happy. Another example, two persons who just become a new couple, they might think that any situation under full moon is very romantic, now why's that?... It's simply because the moon effect which plays this role!

The effect of gravity-resultant exhibitited by other space materials to earth.
The resultant of gravity will be maximum when the position among adjacent planets is in a straight line. The moon it self already has a strong effect to earth's living creatures, then what if this effect is enhanced by the resultant of gravity from other planets? Definitely, there will be much much greater effect in influencing living creatures, especially the emotional state of human beings. This has been indicated as follows:

• The climax of France Revolution in 1799 was when the position of all 9 planets forming a straight line.
• The demonstration by university students in Indonesia demanding president resignation also reaching climax when the position of the 5 nearby planets around earth forming a straight line in 1998.

-*-little comment-*-

I guess now I can see the idea why Taoism and Buddhism recommend non-monks practitioners not to eat meat on the 1st (new moon) and 15th (full moon) of lunar calendar. Apart from the spiritual reason, reducing the consumption of meat, a high iron-content food source, may also retain the amount of ion Fe being concentrated in our body due to the moon gravitational pull. Thus, we, as expected, may have a more stable emotional state.

When you feel such a dramatic emotion, then take a deep breath, exhale it freely, control your emotion, and have a look at your lunar calendar, then smile, as that mostly occurs around full moon or new moon, I BET!

dedicated to my late Professor Joko Purwanto

My cell phone, can I turn it on now?

Preparing to take off, a guy around 20ieth I guess, was sitting beside me. He asked me whether or not the cell phone must be turned off. I said. you must turn it off. As my spoken Chinese was not good enough to explain how the phone signal may interrupt the navigation system, I just told him with a very simple Chinese politely. He got my point though. He eventually turned his phone off.

We started talking, from this point I knew that he came to Beijing to take a part in a car competition, now heading back to Dalian by plane because he can't get a ticket for the train due to peak season, just the same reason as mine. In a short pause, he suddenly made a comment, "Well, I think it's supposed to be OK now to turn on the phone as we have already taken off".... No, I said. I tried to explain that some plane accident might occur due to navigation failure because of signal disturbance caused by some forgetting to turn the phone off. Then, his response was just nodding his head while putting back his phone into the bag.

I was just wondering, what if there was a lot of people having the same thinking as his that turning on cell phones inside the plane was not a big deal. Hmm, good that he and I had a talk! The plane landed in Dalian Airport at 1 a.m.

Tuning Your Character to Compromise for A Better Life

We have to be wise to deal with anything in our life. We have to make a smart bargain, a good deal in any matter. I believe, compromise is one of the important key to have a better life. But, how far can we compromise?

Priority, situation, and condition are some reason for us to compromise. For example: X and Y are two generous persons. They like to help anyone who needs help. X is a too-generous person. X can easily give all his money without any consideration to someone who urgently needs a financial help. X simply thinks that giving his money to this person will lessen his burden. On the other hand, Y considers too many priorities in donating his money. Yet, Y is still keen to give donation to help others.

I notice that around us, there is quite a lot of generous people like X and Y. Here, I just want to suggest to all my friends:

1. whose personality type is like X; Too-generous type of person can often have a problem for him/her self, particularly in managing his/her own money. This type of persons need to be more careful in deciding what to do with their own money. Careful consideration on priority is necessary.
2. with Y type of person; Do not overly consider too much unnecessary details. It might discourage your good purpose to help the person who urgently needs your hands.

So, just have a 5 minutes to introspect your self,

• Which type of person are you? X or Y? too-generous? too much detail? perfectionist? selfish? never give any donation?
• After realising what type of person you are, try to tune your character! Not too much neglect on your own need, nor contrarily, too much unnecessary details to consider to do generous thing. Try to be as balance as possible.

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May everyone be well and happy. Let's tune our character!

Gentleman, to be or not to be? A Chaotic Phenomena in China

Here some experience about "chaotic phenomena" I've had during my one year stay in China.

Problem with queueing

• At the bus stop where there is no queueing line. Soon after the bus comes, no matter what, just try to get as fast as you can to get into the bus. No need to worry about who the person is behind you, no matter an elderly or an old woman with lots of shopping bags in her hands. No need to give lady first. Just keep pushing your body into the bus, otherwise you'll regret!
• Queuing in the supermarket cashier. The problem here is mostly dealing with the old women and grannies. They just don't know how to queue, or I must say that they pretend to stand up beside the queue and not from the back, just by any chance, to intrude the queue. Here dealing with this situation, you must strictly tell her, "Queue from the back!" Such an old woman!

Hospitality only to the one you know

Someone got into the bus faster and he got a seat already. While an old granny or grandpa standing beside him, no more seat left, he just didn't care about it, kept enjoying reading his messages and playing with his cellphone.

He might offer his seat to his girl friend only (or his colleague only), while the old person is, "Not my problem, I don't give a damn"... ^#%#^%$!!

An "equality" to speak up among male and female?

Yes, by showing that they have the same right to have a quarrel inside the hospital. Can you believe this??? At that time, I was having an infusion in a room with other patients. Then a young male around 20ieth, who was apparently to be a patient, suddenly had an argue with a woman. It was such a sharp loud annoying voice inside the hospital, screaming each other between him and the woman for about 30 minutes, pointing finger directly towards the face of each other. GREAT! I guess all patient will get well very soon!

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Would all above phenomena happens only in an overly populated country like China? I used to have a discussion with my Chinese friend. Well, he said: big population, hard economic condition, pushing all people to do the law of "who is fast, who is successful". Of course as the positive consequence, this situation makes all Chinese successful to run a business. Lots of Chinese carry on a business successfully due to "fast working" attitude to any aspect.

However, the impact were all chaotic phenomena above. All people want to be fast in such wrong chaotic ways: intruding a queue, entering the bus sarcastically, and so on.

First time in China, I tried to give way to an elderly to enter the bus. However, other persons from behind started complaining me telling me to get faster! and I got pushed from the back.

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I am just wondering how this phenomena can be reduced. The Olympic Games 2008 will be held in Beijing. Now, all TV stations in China advertise how to be a "civilized culture" to welcome foreigners for the Olympic Games. The sequence of advertisement shows how to give way, how to be patient to queue, how to be a gentleman, how to care about each other. But, is it possible with huge numbers of people to reach such an ideal condition? I guess it's very difficult.

However, I hope through the Olympic Games 2008, there will be an improvement to be a more civilized culture, a less chaotic phenomena. Even if only a little closer change to the advertised-like ideal situation, it will makes the condition in China much much better. I do hope the coming Olympic Games 2008 will open their mind, will raise a more "gentleman" attitude through their self awareness. Then China will be a much better country!

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Dedicated to Naneto, many thanks for teaching me the "attitude"

Bloody kampungan "I want to take a picture"

Another Chinese habit "kampungan!"

I joined a group tour to Tian Men Shan. While enjoying the scenery, suddenly someone said to me "Can you move a little bit there? I want to take a picture". It's like saying "Get out! You are ruining my picture!"

Geee! if he just wanted to take some pictures, just take it! Why should disturb other people, just take whatever the condition was. It really pissed me off. Can you imagine while enjoying the view, then someone asked you to go away! for what? just to take his picture. Bloody selfish!

I've noticed almost all Chinese everywhere, when taking pictures, always want to be only themselves inside their picture, no matter what the situation is, including in such a high crowd. But yet, you can't be so selfish like that though! Asking other people to leave like that!

Really such a disturbing behaviour!

Chinese Spitting Habit: Not a Culture

Walking on the street in any place in China, small town, big cities, I can always hear "hoerrrgghhh piuhhh...^%^#^$##" almost anytime. Mostly done by elderly, but sometimes also by young people, even students, the educated community. Is it kind of a culture in China (mainland)?

I know someone who does this habit. But, when he was in Hongkong for a short stay, he has never ever done spitting. At least that's what he said to me, as he was cautiously preventing to get a $HK 1500 penalty for spitting. He himself was the one who reminded me not to do spitting in Hongkong. He also told me that HK is a very very clean place, despite huge crowd of people. Spitting might be easily noticed in HK. Hmmm....

Anyway, when he returned back to China mainland... here we go again that disgusting sound&^%*&$#%$

I have tried to change his habit, but my effort seems to be nil... Environment plays an important role here. Yes, the environment! Where his environment here in China mainland, almost any time any place you can see or hear people spitting.

So, I'm just wondering whether this spitting habit can be eliminated? How to make them aware about the disease-induced effect of spitting. How to open their mind to change this habit? Should they, in order to change their habit, be brought to a place like Hongkong, Singapore where spitting is legally banned? Can this habit be changed?

So far, my starting point is just to keep telling someone I know, particularly when he wants to spit, then I should start delivering him some lecture against spitting, again and again. Well well...
>>>Bad habit, easy to learn, difficult to change<<<